u jus ain't down anymo

i was already having a bad day..and it got even worse. it goes a little deeper than the surface situation of what it may be. i dont care to ever mention it. i only told my sisters(+in-law) about it.

whatever happened..in my "bad day"..im still in a much better spot than i was just a year ago..bouncing from family/friends' houses, pretty much living outta my car..so despite the raw reality checks/realization that i did experience today..i still feel very blessed to be where i'm at.



im reading this book..

and it helps with being positive..with your life..no matter what the circumstances.
here's an excerpt i find useful in everyday life.. tests.. trials.. depression.. whatever it may be..

To the ego, the present moment hardly exists. Only past and future are considered important. The total reversal of the truth accounts for the fact that in the ego mode the mind is so dysfunctional. It is always concerned with keeping the past alive, because without it - who are you? It constantly projects itself into the future to ensure its continued survival and to seek some kind of release or fulfillment there.
It says: "One day, when this, that, or the other happens, I am going to be okay, happy, at peace." Even when the ego seems to be concerned with the present, it is not the present that it sees: It misperceives it completely because it looks at it through the eyes of the past. Or it reduces the present to a means to an end, an end that always lies in the mind-projected future. Observe your mind and you'll see that this is how it works.

THE PRESENT MOMENT HOLDS THE KEY TO LIBERATION.


doesn't it sound like something Tyler Durden would say??..that guy is much deeper than he looks =)

advice to a guuuurlfriend

forget him girl he ain't gon' never change
i ain't no hater but that nigga lost in the game
he probably could love you, but he in love with the struggle

you got too much mo', livin to do i'm spittin this to you,
cause you deserve more than what he givin to you
beautiful, black, precious, and complicated

baby take a little mo' time, love'll find you
and show us the sky's blue somebody other than me
gon' give you everything you need, feel me?



obviously not my words..but chu get it. you may not be black..but u still beautiful, precious and complicated. hahaha. this goes out to a few of you mamas. it's tough baby, but just walk it off..tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

cruel dream

so i just woke up..it's like 12pm. i had this dream last night..more like a nightmare. i dreamt i was moving into an apartment with these two people, that i'd rather not name. omg, it was terrible..these are the two very people i absolutely hate HATE running into. anyways it was weird..these two people(this couple, you might say) were making all these improvements in this home we were all going to move into. they were good at it too, at this home improvement type shit..it was pretty annoying. also in my dream we ALL went to Amoeba to buy some cds..and this chick, one of my "roommates" picked out all the artists that I was looking for!! i was so annoyed for reasons i don't wanna delve into..then we went home and there was this moon bouncy thing outside the apartment. then i finally woke up.

my roommate that's usually the best at researching and interpreting dreams is out of town right now..so i decided to get this off my chest by writing about it. uuuugh but how cruel is that..my dream!! i would never dream about moving in with THOSE people. i love where i live..i live in the backyard of my friend's house..a poolhouse you might say, hahaha. i basically live alone. i have my own entrance, my own bathroom and i never really have to interact with anyone else in the premises unless i choose to..and i love LOVE my roommates so it's not a problem. i would never dream about moving out..well not in the near future at least.

uugh just can't figure out why i had this nightmare.. thank G it was all just a dream!!

special delivery

special thanks to friend, sisolucreBuT..for the speedy food delivery that one day.

edc

edc delivered once again. it's the perfect way to start your summer..
it was great..i believe we left the grounds around 4:30am and didnt get back to my car til like 6am..hahaha. dont ask, cuz i wouldn't even be able to explain to u. haha. yes it was THAT great. anyways here are some pictures from the event..pretty lame though, we were too lazy to keep bringing out the cam to take shots. but here ya go.

and dont even front..u know u wanna be that girl's lollipop.

wanted

i saw it..action scenes were siiiiiiiiick. anj looks so fuckable. the voiceover was a little corny, and somewhat reminiscent of fight club. and i dont know who said it..but it is not bettter than The Matrix. it was good tho..

ok my nerdy movie review is over.

libre gratis free

friends of me, dub..tonight. maybe? yes baby. hahaha.

yeeeaaa i know this is an unbelievably bad version..but it's still funny.

so who's coming with me?? hahahaha.

californication

easily one of the best shows out there.

(Voiceover) "Rome is burning", he said as he poured himself another drink, "yet here I am knee deep in a river of pussy." "Here it comes", she said to herself, another self-centered whiskey soaked guy talking about how fucking great everything was in the past and about how all us poor souls born too late to see the Rolling Stones at where ever or snort the good coke they had at Studio 54. How we all just missed out on practically everything worth living for, and the worst part was, she agreed with him. "Here we are", she thought, at the edge of the world, and all of us are so desperate to feel something, anything that we keep falling into each other and fucking our way towards the end of days

CALIFORNICATION [click me]


"A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness." -Hank Moody

the beeeesh

10 a.m. patron shots makes the beach so much funner. here begins my transformation from pasty to tasty. ha ha ha aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

no subject just bored

omg i came across this..and just had to share

no joke this is a real music video. hahaha. she wakes up in her tanning bed and starts singing about love and peace. how u gunna hate on that?!! haha. love the hair tho. i plan on going back to japan and learn some tricks, they got some crazy bleach that i cant wait to get my hands on. ima wanna assist some crazy gay jap stylist someday soon. and take his teachings back with me.


to make up for that last video..here.

nba finals

it's okay papi. i'll rub yo feet when u get home.


on the upside, my roommate had to jump in our pool topless if the lakers lost..and she did.

blog shmog

so i have somethin like 7 or 8 blog postings in one day, which is today..thats cuzzzzz i just transfered it from that otha place, mispace. it's easier here anyways..plus ive always wanted to learn how to do this blog business. it's perfect since ill def have more time on my hands now that im practicing celibacy and shit.

i'd break my vow for him

but maybe if he wasn't like 70 years old. hahaha.