nights full of Alizé

my favorite song ever right now..again. haha.

2010-03-06T21:03:00.000-08:00

When routine bites hard

And ambitions are low.

And resentment rides high

But emotions won't grow.

And we're changing our ways

Taking different roads.

Then love, love will tear us apart again.

Love, love will tear us apart again.

Why is the bedroom so cold

Turned away on your side?

Is my timing that flawed

Every feeling run so dry?

Yet there's still this appeal

that we've kept through our lives.

And love, love will tear us apart again.

Love, love will tear us apart again.

Do you cry out in your sleep,

All my failings expose?

Gets a taste in my mouth

As desperation takes hold.

Why is it something so good

Just can't function no more?

And Love, love will tear us apart again.

Love, love will tear us apart again.

Love, love will tear us apart again...

yes sireeee

2009-09-08T18:26:00.000-07:00

"And I figured out that the reason I couldn't get through the day as well as I can now is because I had too many things on my mind, on my plate, you know, for one person to have. So I started to eliminate some of the things that were too heavy to carry and unnecessary. "

murphy's law

2009-08-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

i'm keepin my mouth shut for good.

fml

2009-08-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

my job is an incredibly humbling experience..that's all i can say about that.

as of late

2009-07-23T02:20:00.000-07:00

i had a delightful weekend with a boy.

500 days of summer

2009-07-23T01:58:00.000-07:00

La La La La Loved this movie.
so good it's quote worthy already.

recent project

2009-07-23T01:23:00.000-07:00

ten bucks at the flea market

it's an old ass jewelry box that's in good condition..it even plays creepy music, but the little ballerina that supposed to spin in front of the mirror is missing. i was a little scared to take this home..i dread the day i'm in bed all alone, and i can't sleep and i hear every single sound in my surroundings, and then out of no where the creepy jewelry box music starts to play. FUUUCK i'm definitely gunna shit my pants if that happens.

tie dye that shit

so you know me..i get bored and i end up doing ridiculous things..i decided to die some of my boring pieces of clothing i had into a brown color..i wanted it to appear a little over used and old..you know my steez. anyways it ended up kinda looking like shit afterwards..well you be the judge. i personally liked how the V Neck looked. but the others kinda just looked like shit. either way i'd still rock all items.

before

after

let’s never come here again because it will never be as much fun.

2009-07-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings—words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out." -S.K.

cars & dags

2009-06-29T10:14:00.000-07:00

my poor baby, someone backed into my car the other day ..in the parking lot right before i started work. that's the lady who did it..she's taking full responsibility, as she should. anyways, my car should be fixed in about a week. for now i have a rent-a-car. it's a nissan versa sedan 2009, it's pretty lame, but it has a.c. so that's vonderful. plus i don't work till wednesday(this never happens, i rarely get consecutive days off)..i wanna go outta town with it..hahhaha..no one seems down for anything lately though. so that's not gunna happen. but i've been driving the shit outta this car..hahaha on saturday night i drove all the way to valencia to visit and feed my pups..cuz both my parents were outta town along with my sister..and no one was there to feed the dags. here look i took pictures ..they grow up so fast..p.s. good hair runs in the family. (they got great bangs)

the highest commitment

2009-06-23T03:43:00.000-07:00

it's been a year since i started this blog..1st year anniversary =) i knew we'd make it..hahahaha

i always order sandwiches at whole foods, but this time i finally perfected it.

2009-06-23T03:06:00.000-07:00

i created the perfect sandwich the other day..well not me, but the good ppl at WFs did..i just dictated what i wanted..mmm mmm so good i had to take a picture. hahaha i'm so lame. anyways besides that i've been dining out alone a lot lately, i hate how people stare at you like your a loser for eating by yourself..or maybe i am a loser..SIKE. whatever i don't really care..they're all probably looking at how yummy my "sangwich" looks. anyways have i failed to mention i'm a SANDWICH NAZI, i'm very particular about what goes into it..down to how many tomato slices i want in it..it's pretty sick. whatever..lookie here
$6.99

here's what i had in it:

focaccia bread

sun-dried tomato spread..if they're out of that i like to get pesto instead.

provolone

turkey

2 strips of smoked bacon

[have them toast it before they add the veggies]

whole lotta green leaf lettuce

red onions

spinach

3 slices of tomato

sides:

365 [veggie straws]

365 [enhanced lemon water]

+it's so big..you can eat half for lunch and the other half for dinner..

you're welcome =)

cigarillos

2009-06-17T02:23:00.000-07:00

i've given up.

day 1.

why did i decide to quit..there's so many cons..but they're all so cliché(i.e. cancer, yellow teef, saggy tits, wrinkles, the smell etc..blah blah blah)...so instead ill talk about the pros:
-it makes u feel unfat after a FAT meal.
-oh and of course..great after sexytime.
-you get to ditch ppl at clubs to smoke with the cool ppl at clubs outside in the smoking patio.
-it induces your shit.
-it's nice getting your cig lit by someone handsome.
-it goes so well with drugs.
-it makes bad traffic not that bad.
-cause it pisses your boyfriend/girlfriend off.
-classic opening line "do u have a cigarette i can bum?"..but is 2nd to "so u from 'round here?"
-it's less fattening than a bag of chips.
-it goes hand and hand with alcohol.
-it's also major bonding time with the amigs.

yeah i'll miss it..but it's not gone completely..i always live my life in moderation. when i need it i'll smoke it. but that's what bud is for..so hopefully i won't need cigs for a really long time..
bud not the beer cuz the bud makes me wiser

the girlfriend experience

2009-06-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

gunna see this tonight can't waittttttt

picture entry Re Tard.

2009-06-15T01:15:00.000-07:00

random pictures from this year..been lazy i know. hope this makes up for it.

click me

kinsey scale

2009-06-09T17:23:00.000-07:00

The Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person’s sexual orientation by placing them at numbers from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively homosexual). Of his theory, Kinsey wrote:

“Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories… The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.

While emphasizing the continuity of the gradations between exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual histories, it has seemed desirable to develop some sort of classification which could be based on the relative amounts of heterosexual and homosexual experience or response in each history… An individual may be assigned a position on this scale, for each period in his life…. A seven-point scale comes nearer to showing the many gradations that actually exist.”

If this scale has any validity, I would probably be hovering around a 1..hahaha. However, many sexologists have described the Kinsey scale as being far too simplistic to properly explain such a complex thing as human sexuality. In a world where people are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, and asexual, is classifying one’s sexuality as easy as picking a number on a scale?

wa wa wa..

2009-06-09T02:30:00.000-07:00

this post is stupid..i'm bored and i'm off tomorrow..everytime i get a day off..nothing is goin on the night before..whatever. i have a school girl crush on bradley cooper..those posters of him in "HANGOVER" are hottt..hahaha..anyways i'm kinda in love with this song right now..i'll probably play it out a million times..and by wednesday i'll be soooo over it. hahaha who knows.

MILK- Kings Of Leon

anyways ever met someone you were probably really close to in another life?? i think i have. no it's not like that it's like instantaneous best friend status..they just get u and u get them..wow. haha i giggle just thinkin about it cuz it's so gay hahaha. i thought making real friends in your twenties was impossible, hmmm guess not =)

p.s. mr. fine is leaving to sweden for a month =(

CLUB DREAD

2009-05-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

..is a great movie..although it has nothing to do with my post, i thought i should just put it out there. here's a little treat for all my fans, don't wet yourselves now..but the rumors are true..here's my new playlist. enjoy =) click here im not there

my hiatus

2009-05-07T02:52:00.000-07:00

catch up
ok so quick update on my life..that's a picture from vegasssss..been super lazy to post anything lately..hmmm what else..i cut my hair short..but not boy short..i got crazy baby bangs..trying to get used to them. i really like my haircut though it's a little cwazy but i loves it and plus when i wear my clip on extensions it blends wonderfully. i assist at a salon now, i do a lot of bitch work ..like shampoo's and blowdryzzz for days. but it's a step. i love it. i don't love standing all day though cuz i'm fucken flatfooted and it's a pain in the ass sometimes..i need those arch support thingys. anywaysssss i must goooo, i have work tomorrow at 1 pm. hahaha i know so late but i like to wake up early to get shit done..cook, workout, get readyyyyyy..it's a policy at work that we must have eyes lips and cheeks on before we even clock in. it's such a pain in the ass..we always gotta look put together and shit. i'm so not used to it..i'm pretty sloppy..i like goin to work like i jsut rolled outta bed. because i probably did just roll outta bed..hahaha anyways there's so much more i wanna say but sooo tired. i love the california air tonight i feel like sleeping under the stars..so romantic. but it's kinda gay if you're all alone. hahaha so i'll just stay in my room for now. keep cool my babies.

last night a dj saved my life

2009-04-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

i almost forgot to tell you guyssss i saw my girl.. LYKKE LI!! she spun at purp lounge last monday =) loves her

irretrievable

2009-04-22T02:21:00.000-07:00

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it
damn it, everytime i watch this movie..it always kinda fucks me up. it makes me think about the past and gets me a little bit sad. i'm so gay. anyways i'll live. i just gotta shake it. Off. let's not tell our sad stories now. so goodnight now.

hey stoner!

2009-04-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

so yeah happy 420.

joons is finally 21.

2009-04-06T14:03:00.000-07:00

julienne is my baby sister. i call her joons, and so do all my friends. hahaha. she secretly loves that name, but hates it when i call her that in front of her little friends..you know to be cool and shit. anyways, she's finally 21..hahaha although it seems like she's been 21 for the past 3 years. thanks to me and her stolen fake-yet-real-ID. we celebrated her 21st @ LAX. which was an EGGZELLENT[that's how my mom says excellent, cuz she fobs out sometimes] choice because it was the last night for banana split sundays. as usual, the music was dopest dope, so good it was almost EDC again. hahaha okay i lied, not EDC good, but close reeeeeal close. as you can see she had a blast, you know she's having fun when her hands are flailing all over the place(as seen in pictures) hahahaha. and now off to vegas for the weekend...

[pics]
here's the anthem for this weekend bday event

pool party & puppies

2009-04-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

[more pics]

from facebook #2

2009-04-02T03:15:00.000-07:00

all i had at The Good Night Bar earlier tonight was Red Bull..so now i have another post, cuz i can't fall asleep..hahaha. anyways i'm abstaining from alcohol for 14 days. i'm on day 6. i've never done this before. it's almost as hard as quitting cigs..which is almost as hard as to start flossing your teeth everyday. but i actually floss everyday single day, i have a strict dental regime..hahaha i guess that's the only thing easy for me. but i've been told quitting cig/heroin is just as hard as learning to floss your teeth every single day. eewww gross, everyone should floss. hahaha ok i'm a loser. good night. and keep cool my babies.

hot spot

2009-04-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

The Good Nite Bar
karaoke wednesdays

this bar is like 5 minutes from my house. it's a good alternative on wednesdays. i usually like to hit up Dub Club wednesday nights..but when i don't, i love going to this hole in the wall. people are kinda hideous, but who cares right..i'm there for the cheap drinks & karaoke!!! hahaha i <3 this spot. i took my partner in crime to this spot earlier, and she loved it. we sang soooo many songs..the DJ's super dope..finds almost any song you want..& side note:he kinda looks like Paul Giamatti but younger, hahahaha i'm sucha jerk. anyways check it out..you'll have the best time. & anyways only boring people get bored.
[http://www.thegoodnite.com/]

april fooled

2009-04-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

damn i got april fooled reeeeeeal good. it's too embarrassing to even post up..but i had to give props to YOU out there. that was harsh but it worked. and for the first time in my life, i've been april fooled! AAHH fuck you!! we shall never speak of this again. damnnnn hahahaha i wanna hide under a rock and die now. hahahaha for realz B!!

high fidelity & chicken shit

2009-03-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

"And fucking--when is it all going to stop? Am I going to jump from rock to rock for the rest of my life until there aren't any rocks left? Am I going to bolt every time I get itchy feet? Because I get them about once a quarter, along with the store's tax bill. I've been thinking with my guts since I was fourteen years old and, frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains." --Rob Gordon

that was a classic quote from one of my all time favorite movies, High Fidelity.
A movie about fear of commitment, hating your job, falling in love, and other pop favorites.

i haven't been this fond of someone since hmmmmm since i was like 19. ever since the demise of my first great love, i've somehow come across a few gents that seriously can't hold my attention for more than a month. this one actually feels different. scary, no? well, i'm terrified, there must be a reason why i still keep this lad around..this is right about the time i get "itchy feet". but instead my palms get sweaty, my tummy flutters and i really do try to look pretty for our dates and shit. hahahahaha. it's a fun feeling, but i'm scared shitless most of the time. oh no, let's see where this goes..

lucky X

2009-03-29T23:32:00.000-07:00

yeah i suck..i know. but i still won!! =)

Right near da beach. Boy-eeee!

2009-03-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

[more pics]

leisure suite

2009-03-23T00:04:00.000-07:00

"It's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like killing a unicorn... with, like, a bomb."

hb homie

2009-03-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

happy birthday meryl. vegas' been cravin us baby..topless pools here we goooooooo.

kiss me, i'm irish

2009-03-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

st. patty's 2009..this is actually the first st. patrick's day i've ever celebrated..i've never really been a fan of green beer. i'm still not!! hahaha, just the usual vodka tonic all night. either way good times at Red Rock, haven't been there in a while..the dj was actually GOOD..then off to Roosevelt Hotel for those bomb ass sweet potato fries..yummmmmmm cheap & good and 24/7. i love 24/7 shit =)

p.s. that bitch all up on my nuts. hahaha. hot damn.

i got 5 on it

2009-03-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

day 1
wednesday heart attack

dub club & 7/11
the girls, charlie, pinkberry, pre party, budddddd, rasta mon

day 2
thuzzzday never lookin back

the griffin, hookah bar, in my room
redbull vodkassssss, football in parking lot, 3 to a bed

day 3
& friday i'm in..

the griffin again
skinny teddy bear, a pleasant surprise, u could get that drunk at the griffin?

day 4
saturday, wait

my first adult party
finger foods, open bar, cool old ppl, girl on girl

day 5
sunday comes too late

apple
laker party, jackie's sqeeeeeeeze, free gas, free food, & the real zohan

multiracial couples

2009-03-17T02:47:00.000-07:00

it's like an online soap i'm addicted to. and i got my best friend on the same boat. hahaha.

my guilty pleasure

2009-03-12T03:40:00.000-07:00

secret diary of a call girl
duuuuuuude i just saw the season finale of season 2!!!! sooo good. i love this fuckin show. anyways don't wanna give it away or nuthin but i like the direction of where the show is goin..it ain't givin u no runaround and shit..it comes with the TRUTH, i love it. doesn't try to sugar coat or anything but anyways..i was noticing she was gettin kinda chubby this second season..but it's cause she was preggo!! well for sure there's gunna be a season 3..so ya'll best catch up on that shit..this show is so delightful and charming it's worth getting the DVD. anyways if you're too broke just catch up here online click this link enjoy!!

p.s. dub club delivered tonight..had funnnnnnnn.

V'z up, hoes down

2009-03-11T01:20:00.000-07:00

happy birthday vane!!

click me

avant-garde

2009-03-10T03:08:00.000-07:00

100 days, 100 songs, 100 locations, 100 dances.
+ his song list ain't bad at all. you'll enjoy this..hahaha i sure did. thank me later, over lunch or somethin

100 Songs:

001. Heart of Glass / Blondie
002. Jimmy / M.I.A.
003. Deceptacon / Le Tigre
004. Im on Fire / 5000 Volts
005. Je Veux Te Voir / YELLE
006. The Way I Are / Timbaland
007. Too Young / Phoenix
008. Over And Over / Hot Chip
009. Stick It To The Pimp / Peaches
010. Say My Name / Destiny's Child
011. Pin / Yeah Yeah Yeahs
012. Geremia / Bonde Do Role
013. Let Me Clear My Throat / DJ Kool
014. Point Of No Return / Expose
015. Bubble Sex / The Seebach Band
016. Pump Up the Jam / Technotronic
017. Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above / CSS
018. Hella Nervous / Gravy Train
019. Me Plus One / Annie
020. Don't Go / Yaz
021. Bootylicious / Destiny's Child
022. Electric Feel / MGMT
023. Boys Don't Cry / The Cure
024. Lose Control / Missy Elliott
025. Ride The Lightning / Evans And Eagles
026. Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough / Michael Jackson
027. Hearts On Fire / Cut Copy
028. Tainted Love / Soft Cell
029. Between Us & Them / Moving Units
030. It Feels Good / Tony Toni Tone
031. Polaris (Club Mix) / Cyber People
032. You Never Can Tell / Chuck Berry
033. Huddle Formation / The Go! Team
034. Pump That / FannyPack
035. My Love / Justin Timberlake
036. Hung Up / Madonna
037. Justice - D.A.N.C.E (MSTRKRFT Remix) / Justice
038. Cybernetic Love / Casco
039. Creep / TLC
040. When I Hear Music / Debbie Deb
041. B.O.B. / Outkast
042. Bubble Pop Electric / Gwen Stefani
043. Miss You Much / Janet Jackson
044. You Spin Me Round / Dead Or Alive
045. Slide In / Goldfrapp
046. Kelly / Van She
047. Mine Fore Life / The Sounds
048. Disco Heat / Calvin Harris
049. Nighttiming / Coconut Records
050. Club Action / Yo Majesty
051. Pogo / Digitalism
052. Lip Gloss / Lil Mama
053. Heartbeats / The Knife
054. Enola Gay / OMD
055. Goodbye Girls / Broadcast
056. Kids In America / Kim Wilde
057. Kiss / Prince
058. Tenderness / General Public
059. Push It / Salt N Pepa
060. Circle, Square, Triangle / Test Icicles
061. Day 'N' Nite (Crookers Remix) / Kid Cudi
062. Shadows / Midnight Juggernauts
063. Paris (Aeroplane Remix) / Friendly Fires
064. Out At The Pictures / Hot Chip
065. Me Myself and I / De La Soul
066. AudioTrack 10 / Diplo
067. Girls & Boys / Blur
068. Heater / Samim
069. I Wanna Dance With Somebody / Whitney Houston
070. Hands In The Air / Girl Talk
071. Limited Edition OJ Slammer / Cadence Weapon
072. Meeting In The Ladys Room / Mary Jane Girls
073. NY Lipps / Soulwax
074. Lex / Ratatat
075. Gravity's Rainbow (Soulwax Remix) / Steve Aoki
076. Once In A Lifetime / Talking Heads
077. Leave It Alone / Operator Please
078. Half Mast / Empire Of The Sun
079. Hardcore Girls / Count and Sinden feat. Rye Rye
080. Dance, Dance, Dance / Lykke Li
081. Never Gonna Get It / En Vogue
082. Blue Monday / New Order
083. Crazy In Love (Featuring Jay-Z) / Beyoncé
084. 10 Dollar / M.I.A.
085. Love To Love You Baby / Donna Summer
086. Steppin' Out / Lo-Fi-Fnk
087. Karle Pyar Karle / Asha Bhosle
088. Love Will Tear Us Apart / Joy Division
089. Straight Up / Paula Abdul
090. My Drive Thru / Santogold, Casablancas, NERD
091. Like A Prayer / Madonna
092. Freedom 90 / George Michael
093. Black & Gold / Sam Sparro
094. B-O-O-T-A-Y / Spank Rock and Benny Blanco
095. Great Dj / The Ting Tings
096. In A Dream / Rockell
097. Don't Stop the Music / Rihanna
098. Hong Kong Garden / Siouxsie & The Banshees
099. It's Tricky / D.M.C.
100. Bizarre Love Triangle / New Order

snatch-waxin'

2009-03-06T00:49:00.000-08:00

"Dear Diary, I am writing in your bullshit pages because my shrink is crazier then I am. He thinks you're therapy."

anyways enough of that nonsense. on about my day.. i bought wax today!! i figure it's gunna cut my cost of living. rather than getting bikini waxed every month, i'll just by the pot/wax myself and do it myself. i mean i used to practice this at school and shit. after all, i am a cosmo graduate. hahaha. how hard could it be. ~~right~~? but while i was in school we used to just wax normal body parts i.e.legs, arms, upper lips, brows even armpits. we never really waxed each other's pussies. i'm a brave girl though. i got my mirrors ready. and did it. andddddd it hurt like hell. you know the kind of pain when your face gets hit by a ball?! it was like that, but worse. hahaha. (u know!! like when your eyes tear up but you don't really need to cry) omg it hurt waaaay more than someone else doing it..but it's do-able!! it was successful and painful. but i feel like a newborn again. i almost feel like a virgin..i guess that's what's so great about being waxed.. it's like your a brand new virgin everytime. hahahaha. i'm so crazy, don't listen to me.

p.s. This is what the alphabet would look like if Q and R were removed.
p.s.s. i bet no one got that P.S. joke..hahaha well anyways i checked out that movie, from my previous post. it wasn't that great. the sweds are a little weird about their movies + there was a cunt-shot and that wasn't pretty.

luv lots, iza

in my universe

2009-03-05T00:29:00.000-08:00

top 5 things about me rye now:

i really wanna see this movie tomorrow. last showing is at 10pm at fairfax/beverly..can't waittt

"Thank you for every kindness. Thank you for our children. For the first time I saw them. Thank you for being someone I was always proud to be with. For your guts, for your sweetness. For how you always looked, for how I always wanted to touch you. God, you were my life. I apologize for everytime I ever failed you. Especially this one... "
What Dreams May Come

i <3 this movie..one of the dopest deepest movies ever made

im on twitter. but not sure what it is exaclty.

LOL i read these off, http://sorry-mom.com/ their slogan is "i bang the worst dudes- sorry, mom"

saw this tonight and i completely & immediately dug it.

i'd rather be rasterbating

2009-03-04T02:47:00.000-08:00

The Rasterbator
or tiled printing, is a feature of many computer programs that enables them to print images larger than a standard page. the program overlays a grid on the printed image in which each tile is the size of a printed page and then prints each tile. a person can then arrange the tiles to reconstruct the full image.
i decided to to do 2 images. the first one is of marley in my room..it's from the floor to the ceiling..i was at kinkos for like 2 hours for this one. and the second one is of depp in blow, i placed that one above my toilet. i've officially become the rasterbating bear..hahaha but here, i like to share so here's the link now rasterbate!! hahaha.

my camera broke, sucksssss..so i'm just taking these pics from my computer.

depp

here's some of my favorites

is better to burn out or fade away?

2009-03-01T15:06:00.000-08:00

i was watching this documentary on kurt cobain today on the sundance channel. yeah i know, pretty morbid for a sunday afternoon. it was called Kurt Cobain: About a Son. and the voice of the byronic grunge rock icon is heard in excerpts from revealing interviews recorded a little more than a year before his 1994 suicide. cobain is heard ruminating about fame, drugs, his childhood and his band. it made me really sad. he was so talented, yet so tormented. okay ima stop being so emo now. ugh i hate that word. haven't read this in like over ten years..but here you go.

text version is below

"To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney =), for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!"

morons

2009-02-28T05:11:00.000-08:00

Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.
i popped my cherry!! haha here look, my first stab at iPelicula..

my proximity infatuation

2009-02-26T19:27:00.000-08:00

proximity infatuation=
in so many words, just a crush.

remember that feeling you used to get as a kid, when u had a crush on someone. i feel like that now. hahahaha. i don't wanna ruin things by getting to know someone too quickly or completely, cuz then the whole crush factor is diminished and i completely lose interest. i love this feeling, it's like being a kid again =) ..but at the same time aren't we all supposed to end up with someone?? see that's the part, i don't quite get. YET.

" If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days."
this probably the most personal i've gotten since like, july..oh so what.

free craigshit

2009-02-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

so long TROMSÖ
ikea twin bedframe

damn wid quickness. i posted THIS (as seen to the rye) under FREE(section)..not even 2 minutes pass. i get a call wanting someone to pick it up. THANK GOD! i've grown to hate this bed. everytime im watching a movie/on my laptop and have my back against the wall, the damn bed rolls away!! it's supposed to have breaks on the wheels and shit, but damn if that works. anyways the list goes on & on (my cypher keeps moving like a rolling stone..haha) as to why i hate this bed. i can't even begin to talk about the sex..hahaha by the time i bust a nut..the bed's in the middle of the room!! and that's just with me-alone, imagine how it is when there's a guest-star. hahaha i'm sooo kinda kidding. after nights of debauchery, you wouldn't believe how many ppl fit and sleep in that bed..only girls of course. but on a serious note, i'm sure gunna miss those handle bars =) hahahaha.
well anyways good riddance!
click mefor some free craigshit.

LAPTOPS FOR $ALE

2009-02-24T12:32:00.000-08:00

Brand New MSI VR220
$370

click me
Other laptops with same features are about $500.

Features:
Windows Vista Home Premium (or XP if you need)
2 GB DDR2 RAM
Intel Celeron M Processor: 2.0 GHz
12.1” LCD Display
160 GB Hard Drive
Wireless internet b/g/n + Bluetooth
Intergrated Webcam + Microphone

Optional Software:
Microsoft Office 2007 (Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Outlook, etc.)
Adobe Creative Suite 4 Master Collection (Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Acrobat
9, Dreamweaver, Flash, etc)

BRAND NEW
MSI VR602X
$390

click me
Other laptops with same features are about $500.

Features:
FIRST 15.4” LAPTOP TO HAVE NUMBER PAD
Windows Vista Home Premium (or XP if you need)
2 GB DDR2 RAM
Intel Celeron M Processor: 2.0 GHz
15.4” LCD Display
160 GB Hard Drive
Wireless internet b/g/
Intergrated Webcam + Microphone

Optional Software:
Microsoft Office 2007 (Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Outlook, etc.)
Adobe Creative Suite 4 Master Collection (Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Acrobat
9, Dreamweaver, Flash, etc)

CALL ME (213) 820-2905 for more info..only a few left.

from facebook

2009-02-23T02:20:00.001-08:00

don't really feel like blog-blogging today..but decided to share my 10 to 1 from facebook. because well..i can. haha.

Monday, February 16, 2009 at 2:44am
A different spin from the "25 Random Things" note. Yet, ANOTHER note for you to get to know your friends better, and vice versa. Fill in your answers, and tag as many people as you want.. or not.

Ten Things About you right now
1. i played guesstures with my friends today.
2. most of the polish on my fingernails are chipped..that shit ain't crackin.
3. i'm single.
4. i'm watching Blow for the 50th time probably.
5. Valentine's Day was the shiiiiiiiiit this year.
6. my feet are freezing.
7. i probably won't sleep til 5am.
8. i feel kinda lonely right now.
9. i should finish folding my laundry.
10. i just changed my sheets.

Nine Things I Wish I Could Say To Nine Different People.
(Please don't ask me who I'm talking about, cos I refuse to spill. But some of em might be a tad obvious if it's directed to you.)
1. pleazzzze just shut the fuck up.
2. your breath smells.
3. i miss the old 'us'.
4. you're slutty when you're drunk.
5. you make me feel like a kid again =)
6. i wish you could shake that habit.
7. you're funner when i'm drunk.
8. can i do your hair?
9. you're such a hater.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart.
1. just be down..for whatever
2. be charming
3. smell nice
4. have some jokes
5. dance, sing and toke with me
6. have SOME manners
7. don't flake
8. have a PhD(pretty huge dick)..im kidding.

Seven Questions That Cross My Mind.
1. what's your problem?
2. did i take my pills today?
3. should i wax or shave my poozy to save some $ ?
4. and what?
5. when's my next oil change?
6. are you serious?
7. why am i such an asshole sometimes?

Six Things I Do Before I Go To Bed.
1. shower,floss, brush, listerine
2. take my pills
3. put on my socks
4. check my phone
5. lower the volume on tv..press sleep
6. get into fetal position

Five People Who Mean A Lot To Me.
1. my family
2. my friends
3. keanu
4. coco
5. lukas

Four Things I Am Wearing Right Now.
1. looong socks
2. a warm robe
3. granny panties..hahaha it was laundry day
4. v neck

Three Songs I Listen To A Lot, Lately.
1. lykke li- my love
2. lykke li- breaking it up
3. kelis - millionaire (ft. andre 3000)

Two Things I Want To Do Before I Die.
1. live in london.
2. date a black guy..haha joking. but seriously, be a mom, even a single mom before i'm forty.

One Confession.
1. i have a crush on a persian guy.

smutty

2009-02-23T02:11:00.000-08:00

i'm all for dirty talk and shit but dammmmmmn. someone showed me this. and uuh thought it was well.. too vulgar. hahaha so i must share.

he makes me giggle

2009-02-17T01:40:00.000-08:00

I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

-Mitch Hedberg
(1968-2005)

if i had a top-five-list of my favorite comedians, he'd definitely be on it. the first time i heard him was yeeeeeears ago when he was still alive, i was lit..and i couldn't tell if he was really that funny, or if i was just trippin. turns out, he's fuckin hilarious. here's a taste of his work..they're mostly one-liners, but it's genius, i swear. or am i just immature? pshh shiiiit. you be the judge.
oh btw if you FFW to 4:25 you can hear one of my favorite jokes.

i don't wanna be you're friend, i just wanna be your <3er

2009-02-14T18:06:00.000-08:00

it's supposed to be valentine's today..and about all that lovey dovey shiiiiiiiit. but i'm feelin nothin but heartbroken..my friend/smoke bud buddy/pilates partner/sex counselor/roommate moved out today.
her name is colin. she's in the middle. that's me on the left, and kristine (a.k.a.fred mertz/k town) on the right.

=( i'll miss u baby. we'll always have Radiohead..hahaha.

last year before-during-and after [clubbin/house parties/bars/whatever-the-hell-we-were-up-to-that-night]..we would toke for hours and hours and just listen to Radiohead. i'll miss that. here's our song..

trailers [part 1]

2009-02-12T04:32:00.000-08:00

i can't wait to see these two movies..

New York, I Love You
following the successful feature film 'Paris, je t'aime' that opened the 2006..same makers are thrilled to present 'New York, I Love You'. 12 filmmakers will direct a short film (5 minutes) illustrating the universal theme of encountering love within the five boroughs of New York City.

Tell No One/Ne le dis à personne
tell everyone about Tell No One. it's in french though..so just tell your friends that aren't too lazy to read subtitles. it was released like two years ago in Europe..but we can't rent it here till march 31. oooh can't wait.

p.s. you guys remember this?? it's an oldie but a goodie..

aww i'll always <3 this movie

just deux it.

2009-02-10T17:06:00.000-08:00

happpy beerday my caramel apple!!
and another one bites the dust..

my partner in crime

she made us wear black. hahaha

spooky

2009-02-10T03:03:00.000-08:00

In the cool of the evening
When everything is getting kind of groovy
You call me up and ask me
Would I like to go with you and see a movie?
First I say no, Ive got some plans for tonight
And then I stop and say all right
Love is kind of crazy with a spooky little boy like you

You always keep me guessing
I never seem to know what you are thinking
And if a girl looks at you
Its for sure your little eye will be a-winking
I get confused, I never know where I stand
And then you smile and hold my hand
Love is kind of crazy with a spooky little boy like you
Spooky

If you decide some day to stop this little game that you are a-playing
Im gonna tell you all the things my hearts been a-dying to be saying
Just like a ghost youve been a-haunting my dreams
But now I know youre not what you seem
Love is kind of crazy with a spooky little boy like you
Spooky

2 Days in Paris

2009-02-10T01:38:00.000-08:00

It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.

in a nutshell: i adored this movie. it was quick-witted, and good actors with a clean script. i'm a woody allen fan, and this was reminiscent of his work. rent it, you won't regret it.

beauty tips

2009-02-07T13:59:00.000-08:00

1. For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

2. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

3. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry

i just don't know what to do with myself

2009-02-06T14:05:00.000-08:00

this video describes my mood..in more ways than one.

little bit in <3

2009-01-22T08:57:00.000-08:00

there were better quality videos of this song..but i love this street version. it makes me wanna be a street performer in Stockholm, haha only if i had an ounce of talent, but i don't.

p.s. if i could pick a super power..i'd wanna be fluent in every language. that's not really a super power huh..oh who cares, it'd be fuckin pimp tho. hahaha.

80s babies

2009-01-22T08:07:00.000-08:00

in utero

2009-01-18T02:43:00.000-08:00

today, saturday..me and my sister(my sister and i--for the nerds) decided to be bums and spend the whole afternoon catching up to season 2 of Californication. we literally spent 3+ hours glued to the tv. and i fell in love again..i forgot how good the writing was for this show, it showed sincere dialog and heartfelt observations between the characters. i was thoroughly impressed with this second season. but this episode definitely stood out.

i don't wanna bore you with the diminutive details so in short..it features flashbacks( i luv flashbacks) to Hank and Karen’s discovery that not only has Kurt Cobain died..but she’s pregnant as well. the struggle was nice, as was the admission that they’re both cheating on others by being together. in the real world that wouldn’t work well for a start of a relationship, but here it seems fitting.

highlight: HANK'S LETTER TO KAREN

Dear Karen,
If you're reading this, it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it so good for me. You don’t know me very well, but if you get me started I tend to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. But this, this is the hardest thing I ever had to write. There no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it, I met someone. It was an accident, I wasn’t looking for it, I wasn’t on the make..it was a perfect storm. She said one thing and I said another and the next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there this feeling in my gut that she might be the one. She's completely nuts in a way that makes me smile highly neurotic, a great deal of maintenance required. She is you Karen, that’s the good news. The bad news is that I don't know how to be with you right now, and that scares the shit out of me. Because if I am not with you right now I have this feeling we will get lost out there. It’s a big bad world full or twist and turns and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment. The moment that could of changed everything. I don’t know what’s going on with us and I can’t tell you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me. But damn you smell good, like home and you make excellent coffee that has to count for something right. Call me!
Unfaithfully yours,
Hank Moody

that letter was tight right? hahahaha yeaaaaah i thought so too.

envy

2009-01-12T02:10:00.000-08:00

this dog is sooo fuckin cute. im pretty sure it's a pekingese..the wide set eyes, cheekbones and broad lower jaw, forms the correctly shaped face.

so gimme dat.

no subject

2009-01-10T04:42:00.000-08:00

there comes a point in your life when you realize: who matters, who never did, who wont anymore, & who always will.

my 2nd favorite deadly sin

2009-01-07T00:52:00.000-08:00

Gluttony: the over-indulgence and over-consumption of food, drink, or intoxicants to the point of waste.

with that said, have u had the asada fries from Taco Spot in Eagle Rock? OMG baby that shit is bommmmmb. i just had to share. here take a good look.. crispy/soggy-diner-style-fries topped with cheese, sour cream, guacamole and of course carne asada. yummmmmmmm. you'll die. you'll just die. it was amazing..

only $5.75, this will probably ruin your bullshit new year's diet/resolution. i'm sorry.
2006 Colorado Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90041
ooh and their SOPES are dopest dope.

[nye pics]

here's my half-assed new year's resolutions or just a to-do list:

take my vitamins!!

get a tighter ass

continue to eat junk + 2 fruits a day

smoke no more than 5 cigs/week..in january

smoke no more than 4 cigs/week..in february

smoke no more than 3 cigs/week..in march

smoke no more than...(so on and so forth)

build endurance on my right leg(previously broken..shark bite, blah blah blah..it's a long story)

go to church, even if i got to go alone

workout at least 3x/week

get better at wii tennis

enroll in a real tennis class

keep up with current events not just gossip

smile at strangers more often

be nicer(if that's possible hahahaha)

master the stick

find an amazing job i'll love

make a pilgrimage to philippines

p.s. thanks for taking me there Dante!!

guide to eating pussy

2008-12-28T13:48:00.000-08:00

vice has the funniest and most informative guides to life i have ever read, and this one is no exception.
article from The Vice Guide to Sex Drugs and Rock N Roll (originally ran September of 1999).

Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because it’s really fucking hard. You have to learn it. Giving good head is the key to just about everything in life (including getting good head later on), so it’s time we broke it down. Like this.

The secret to giving good head is to read the signs. You could be the best sexual mechanic in the world, but if you can’t read the emotional road signs, you’re going to end up wandering around in a desolate labial wasteland until, eventually, you drop from exhaustion, hot tears of confusion streaming down your face.

Think of eating the puss as your way of saying, “Although I am about to rock your insides with 3,000 lbs. of explosives, here’s a little intimate treat session to show you how I really feel.” Instead of a screaming “OH MY GOD!!” like her baby has been trapped under a car (which is what fucking should do), cunnilingus elicits a more splendiferous “ooohmygodohmygodohmygod.” Kind of like being massaged with exotic fruits by a muscular Arab oil sheik. A good mange (that’s French for “eat,” you brutes) is like a thousand years of Saturdays or a “Calgon, take me away” ad.

Break it down!

1) Be Down
Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven.

2) Don’t Say Hi to Dry
A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that’s needed to get the honey dripping.

Once you’re sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, teasing strokes with your finger. There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers.

Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950s milkshake with two straws.

Important: Don’t play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside. This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the tease factor. Try to remember that 78 percent of a woman’s pleasure is about yearning. Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire.

3) Submarine Mission for You, Baby
Once she’s lathered up, it’s time to go down. Get your fingers out of there and don’t touch anything for a bit. Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you’re going away on vacation.

Though it’s very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea. It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood.

Start by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down. Don’t get carried away with those stupid tits, though. That’s something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off. Right now it’s all about the stomach and inner thighs. A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee and move towards the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop. Nibble your way right up to the edge of her cunt, then skip across it and head for the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot and save you a lot of pussy-eating time in the long run.

When you’re just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice next to the lips. Don’t spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that’s the actual cunt.

By now she should be dying for you to make your move. If you’re doing it right, she’ll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs. Stretch this phase out until she looks like she’s been holding her breath for three days.

Extra trick: Hover over the bush for about five seconds before the first lick. If you wait longer than that, she might think you’re having second thoughts because it smells bad. Of course, we all know that motherfucker smells sweeter than a bowl of steamin’ crawdaddies.

Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever. If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off.

4) Parting the Red Seas
Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating pussy what the Cavity Creeps are to dental hygiene. You’re never going to be able to identify all the parts if she looks like that PiL album That What Is Not. One hot trick is to get her to spread her lips apart so her pussy is all set up for you like a great big buffet.

5) The Grand Entrance
Do your first lick super slow. It’s good to groan and moan too. It shows you’re digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her snapper. Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur. Do about a dozen of these “St. Bernard licks” before moving on (take it really slow, like four seconds per lick). This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has. If it’s real sensitive, she’ll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you’re in for an easy ride. If there’s no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits and you’re in for a thirty-minute session of tongue tendinitis.

6) Rock the Boat
Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag. If you’re getting tired of being ballerina boy, take it out on the clit. Figure out how much abuse it can take without making her uncomfortable and show the little bastard who’s boss.
After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult. He’s surrounded by labia and, even after you find him, all the pressure can pop him over to the side. All of a sudden you’re giving the pee hole the seeing-to of its life. Think of the clit as a tumor in a pile of earlobes. When you push down on the area he’s the only one that can’t be squished. Once one of your tongue troopers finds him, call for reinforcements. Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention into getting him alone. Once you find him, give him a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you. Frisk him and give him a couple of whacks across the head. More on this punk and his bad attitude later.
Extra important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips. The man in the boat should feel the texture of the entire tongue pushing down on his body and his boat.

7) Identifying the Clit Type
After the slow licks it’s time to get this party started. There are essentially two types of clitori: ones that enjoy a serious going-over and ones that don’t. The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away.
Extra tip: Clits come in all shapes, sizes, and sensitivities, but that doesn’t really tell you much. All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning, but the only way to tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions. This is impossible to teach, but just do the best you can. All we can tell you is convulsing means take it ease and “Oh my God” means bring it on.

8a) Clits That Need a Serious Going-over
These are the most fun because you can be creative. Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner. Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth. Now he’s on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an airtight vacuum chamber in your mouth. Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has no idea what you’re talking about, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers and swirling circles, rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking out like it’s too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it’s a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around the clit and some tongue fucking.

As you’re closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking. Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides. When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative. You’re almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics.

Extra tip: To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue like a Micmac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off, killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale.

Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm. Remember, it isn’t over until the hands come down from above and lay you off. If she’s multiorgasmic, you’ll have to keep going until you’ve done the whole routine another four or five times. If you’re not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down to pull you off.

8b) Clits That Don’t
Some clits don’t want to be singled out and battered around. These are the boring ones that need to be treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple. If you’re getting bored try going in some different directions for a while. A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue. You could be looking at half an hour here, pal, and that can be problematic. If you go for that long and she doesn’t cum, you’re going to be in a foul mood, so if it’s too much work, move on. On the bright side, going for thirty minutes is something few people have the patience for, so sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around.

9) The Conclusion
Once you’re done (totally finished), she’s going to want you out of there pronto because the whole area is sensitive. Instead of leaving, stick out your tongue and lay it down on her like a thick, soggy carpet. Make sure you don’t move it or anything because that can actually hurt her. Just let it sit there like a dead manta ray for about thirty seconds. Then come up and wipe your face like a pirate. You now have a good minute to get the condom on and take her from the quarters of Prince Muhammad Muhammad Saddat to the cockpit of an F-15.

EXTRA BONUS TRACKS

1) Getting Fired
If two hands suddenly drop from the sky and start pulling you up, you’ve just been sacked. She’ll tell you she never cums from that anyway, but the truth is you suck at sucking. Just give her a jolly good rogering and look at the whole thing as a learning experience. Later you can ask what the problem was so you can get it right next time. If you’re really lame, you can ask for a regular play-by-play from the broadcast booth. A bit of the old “slow-down-you’re-going-too-fast–yeah-there-like-that-oh-that’s-perfect” can turn even the John Wayne Bobbitt of pussy eaters into a Doug Hart.

2) The Power Lunch
Nothing keeps you in the game and makes her cum harder than a mid-fuck munch. Pulling out in the middle of the race may leave her a bit confused, but it’s a great way for all you premature ejaculators to simmer down a bit and it reminds her neglected clitoris that he’s a somebody. If, after a few seconds, she still isn’t into it, you can save face by pretending you just couldn’t resist. Give it up and get back to the boff.

Extra tip: Unless you like the taste of your own latex-covered dink, keep your mid-fuck snacking to the upper clit region and stay away from the hole.

3) The Bottom
Fingers: If you are dealing with a particularly saucy vixen she may want something in her bum. A thumb gives you the best leeway, but keep in mind you are doing a raunchy thing and this should be saved until the end. Incidentally, if you’re trying to introduce a bum finger as a good thing, try eeking it in during orgasm. If it doesn’t wreck everything you could have a Pavlovian response on your hands for the rest of the relationship.

Hole: We’re not going to get into licking the actual hoop in this article because if you’re into that, you’re way too advanced for this seminar and should have graduated with a PhD in pussy years ago.

Cheeks: Bum-cheek rubbing is always good. There are over five hundred thousand nerve endings on those cheeks, so giving them a good squeeze or a slap while you lick the pussy will get you instant results.

4) The Double Whammy
Though some idiots say it takes away from when you actually put in the dink, simultaneous fingering is a great way to totally blow her mind. Think of it as the crack cocaine of cunnilingus.

5) Being Knackered
Tongue exhaustion is the number-one cause of abandoned manging, but there are many ways to avoid it. Like we said, using your tongue as an inanimate object is a great way to give it a rest. Stick it out as far as it can go and tense it. Then bite into it with your teeth and move it around the cunt using your neck muscles. Another solution is simply to use your fingers on the clit while you give your mouth a rest.

"it's like a group outing, nobody's invited everyone just knows to CUM"

excuse i

2008-12-28T02:50:00.000-08:00

doesn't this sound good. crispy pork chop with spicy salt!! mmm mmm i had the biggest craving on christmas day..luckily mayflower was open.

i had a great xmas(technically xmas eve)..got wasted..sang the shit out of that magic mic and spent time with my most favorite people.

samberg makes me laugh..hard.

december babies

2008-12-27T19:50:00.000-08:00

[photos december babies]

i'm gettin old..

2008-12-16T23:32:00.000-08:00

but damn i look good..hahaha. im so kidding.

u know what's great about having your birthday in december?? u get those 2 for 1 gifts..ya know 'here's for your birthday and christmas.' ha ha ha just kidding MOM.

santa claws

2008-12-11T23:46:00.000-08:00

so every year me and my girlfriends do that kris-kringle-thaaaaang...exchange names and shit..but last year we had to pick out the names about 20 times cuz ppl kept getting their own name and it just seemed to take the whole day to finally get it right, plus it was just impossible to get everyone together with everyone's hectic schedules. thankfully this year my friend meryl, found this website where we can register everyone's name..and pick your kris kringle via email..you don't even have to meet up anymore. dope huh? here's the website: http://managemykriskringle.com.au/

anyways for more important news, here's my kris kringle wishlist this year, as requested..

funniest show ever i really want these.

this too

if u can't find those =(..this is coo too =)

subscription to NYLON
or find me a new lover:

or an accommodator

hahahahaha im kiddingggggg

xxx

2008-12-11T23:20:00.000-08:00

octopooozy

2008-11-28T15:49:00.000-08:00

[photos]

[photos]

[photos]

[photos]

lighters. weed. coke-can-cocks.

2008-11-27T12:21:00.000-08:00

nada

2008-10-22T17:25:00.000-07:00

i obviously won the bib making contest @ the baby shower. hands down.

she took the flash, but we took the cake.

yeaaa yeaaah

2008-10-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

yeah but distractions, like boys/booze, are so funnnnn. hahahaha. well we'll see.

want some?

2008-10-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

get thummmm

mmmm my roomie just made sinigang, a filipino sour soup, im soooo full. im sooo content right now. im killing time til me and some friends meet up for a tennis match. i love tennis..i haven't played in years, never really had time, to play, with work and skl in the way..but now, NOW it's ON boooooooooy. can't wait til i start kickin ass on the courts again. im rusty, and i have a bad leg, but ima train and shit. hahaha, i sound so serious no? haha well i am. life is mmmm mmmm good.

lazzzzzy boy saturday

2008-10-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

i miss the face.

i miss getting pedicures.

i miss this too.

liquor, my proximity infatuation. that really needs to change.

p.s. friend of mine: you need to kick IT on the you-know-whats, i can't have normal conversations with you anymore. seriously, it makes me sad. plus i think your girlfriend might be worried about you as well. that's all, no after skl special here.

aww shit almost forgot.

happy barfday MI cousin!!
i found that picture on your page. and it never left my mind. hahaha. see u laters.

joons

2008-10-10T03:36:00.000-07:00

in response to your latest blog. blog, don't u love that word. hahaha inside joke. joke lang. aniwais..i was just gunna leave a comment but it was so long i decided to just post it. about your sleeping problem, someone once told me: take a sleeping pill (i.e.,Ambien or Lunesta) and masturbate. either you fall asleep first(which was your goal) or you finish. hahaha it's a win win situation. haven't tried it YET. luckily for me, i never or rarely have a provlem slippin. except those rollinstoned nights..ya feeeeEeeeeel.
remember this?

and about ma and pa..awww they so sweet still. kinda gross huh? hahaha kinda reminds me of that text msg we accidentally read on ma's phone from pa yeeeeeeeeeears ago. "i can't wait to fuck you later" oh what no it was in CAPS "I CAN'T WAIT TO FUCK YOU LATER". til this day! til this mothafuckin DAY, it still sends shivers down my spine. hahahahaha i knew you'd appreciate that. i know this will haunt u for a while. sorry..but u reminded me first.

anyways u work a lot. and i miss u.

$567,000

2008-10-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

can get you this..

cat 1 Über-bike
that shit is hot and ridiculously priced.

here's more useless cool shit

LED watch table a.k.a. a fucking COFFEE TABLE

hahaha they have this shit in a GOLD SERIES..as they should

this could run you upwards from 50Gs

cool toys that only david aames could afford
art engineering..fascinating

im sticking to Ikea, hahaha. the sweeeeeeeeeeds are good to me.

this is no beauty school dropout.

2008-10-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

wednesday: with my curlfriends @ bjs

[photos]

thursday: dinner party @ ds
how high? this high. hahahaha my face.

[photos]

plus joon's toast

friday: @ opera
these girls were not at the club, but we stopped to take pictures with them. hahaha.

[photots]

saturday: davids bday @the griffin & azn party @someones mansion

[photos]

this is a stick up..so gimme your numba

2008-09-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

my boyfriend

im fucking kidding..he is ze gay.

[Voyeurism is a hobby]

our seats @ the wiltern

[more shitty pics]

about a girl

2008-09-29T01:07:00.000-07:00

ever done survey about yourself? Guilty

-time - 1:07 AM

-height - 64"

-location - Bbank

-hair color-it's highlighted, experimentation at skl.

-eye color - BLAX

-sexual preference - dicks

-what do you think of cheerleading - not much

-what brand of deodorant do you use - shhhh it’s a SECRET..but no really.. it’s DOVE

-of the people you’ve kissed, who was the worst kisser - this virgin

-you like pickles - no

-do you watch porn - sometimes

-ever kissed a girl- yes

-ever kissed a boy- yes

-do you have your own phone line -my cell

-your thoughts abortion - pro choice

-what do you want to do with your life - i want to move far and set up shop. and come back to visit.

-ever been butt naked bangin’ on the bathroom floor - yeah

-would you ever get plastic surgery, if so, on what - maybe when im old. but i still like my face and tits..for now.

-do you workout -yes, it's a lifestyle

-do you think foreign accents are sexy - could be

-do you like hot dogs - just the ones that the mexiCANS sell in downtown

-last time you went to the doctor - cant remember..i dont have insurance from my parents anymore..so im being careful about my health.

-ever taken ballet - haha hell yeah. when i was like 11 or 12 i was the biggest kid in class. everyone else was like 5 or 6 hahahaha no but really it was pretty pathetic..but i had a blast.hahaha

-last time you used the restroom - 5 min ago..i always gotta pee

-most attractive person celebrity -right now? james franco oh yeaaa

-piercings = i grew up

-tattoos = five

-shoe size = 8.5

-favorite color = gray or grey

-describe yourself in four words = impatient loving cute abused

-siblings = joons

-underwear = yes always

-coffee cup = i used to hate coffee..then worked at coffee bean..and started to tolerate it..

-song you listened to last =dre- pause for porno (instrumental)

-person you called last =kristine?

-person that has called you =my sister?

-person you emailed =i dont know my mom

-person who emailed you = the facebook

-last person you kissed = no one

-you have a crush on someone? nah

-you wish you could live somewhere else = fuck yeah but i love la.

-you think about suicide = thought about it, but not like that

-others find you attractive = maybe on a good hairday

-you do drugs = i abuse substance from time to time

-you smoke = im gunna quit, for the baby.

-you like roller skating= yes!

-you write in cursive or print = print

for or against....

-long distance relationships? no

-using someone= no never. unless they get off on it. hahaha.juskidding.

-used by someone= im ok with it sometimes. "if you're not being used, you're useless"--kanye west

-killing people = peace in the mid east

-premarital sex = for

do you....

-like the taste of blood = yeah i really do

-believe in love = i believe in god

-believe in soul mates = no silly

-believe in love at first sight =lust maybe

-ever cried over a girl/boy = yes sir, everyone should.

-ever lied to someone= everyone fucking lies

-ever been arrested = never ever; when i used to shoplift..and got caught i thought i was gunna get arrested, but then i didn't. they should've arrested me tho, maybe i would've grown out of that shoplifting phase a lot quicker.

what...

-are you scared of = i aint nevah scared

number

-of times I have had my heart broken? = once. "I let you break me off but I won't let you break my heart."

-of drugs taken illegally? = oh no comment

-of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = enough

-What’s the best gift you’ve ever received= cant really say what’s the best gift. anything thoughtful would be nice. like a car would be thoughtful. haha. or a puppy.

-What’s the best concert you’ve ever attended?= hands down..e badu (5/25/07) *we’re not worthy we’re not worthy**bowing down like wayne and garth.

-If you had to give up either music or sex for the rest of your life, which would you pick= geez i can’t answer that

-What’s your favorite bad-for-you food?= bacon cheddar potato wedges from jacks

-What group would you be a permanent groupie for, no questions asked?= the Pharcyde, you faja fuck. oh yeah and we’re not groupies we’re BAND AIDS

-If you could lose (or get back to re-lose) your virginity to any person living or dead, who would it be?= i wouldnt change a thing..it was awkward just like it’s supposed to be.

-Are you a dog person or a cat person?= dogs bitches!!

-What’s your favorite US city?= this is a stupid question

-Have you ever made out with more than one person in the same 24 hour period? yes

-Favorite curse word?: fuck

-Have you ever had a romantic/sexual encounter with a rock star? = no, but i was at a stoplight with jimmy fallon.. i talked to him for a little. told him he was cute. haha that was a pathetic encounter wasnt it..i shouldnt have mentioned it. whatever. i gotta drop a name, fuck it.

-What’s the craziest/stupidest thing you’ve ever done while drunk?= i don’t do crazy SLASH stupid things when im drunk. i get bruises.

-What current trend do you think is ridiculous and wish would go away immediately?= couples, hahaha. okay for real though, drunk driving.

HAVE YOU EVER...

Said "I love you" and meant it?= yes

Been to New York?= once

Been to Florida?= i wanna go

California? = uh huh

Hawaii? = who do i have to blow around here to get to hawaii??

Mexico? = well new mexico..but i got a free trip to Cabo..so ill be there soon.

Canada?= no, but want to aye..eat some pancakes with maple syrup and toke..not in that order

Europe?= can't afford it

Danced nekkid? = yesssssss

EITHER OR...

Apples or bananas?= apples..u gotta cut it for me tho. i cant just eat it like an animal.

black or white?= black..it’s slimming..haha no it’s just a better color

Sing or Dance?= dance

Moan or Dirt talk?= both baby

Mexican or Chinese food?= mexicannnnn

WalMart or Target? = target, it’s cleaner.but wal-mart is open 24/7 and i like goin there at 3am when i get depressed.

Math or English?= english was fun. math was easier.

High school or college? = high school

do you want kids?= i think so. but only with perfect baby daddy.

what do you want to do when you grow up?= a hairstylist. i'm really doing what i want to do, and yes it's scary. plus i couldn't sell my soul.

what are you looking forward to?= my graduation this week!! no more 25hrs/wk that i DON'T get paid for. oh yay this means i have time now to look for a second job. hahahaha, filthy rich or dirt poor i love my life, it's mine and you can't have it!!

why did you do this?= "i couldn’t sleep. When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep, and you’re never really awake." --if you dont know this movie you’re not my fuckin friend

god loves ugly

2008-09-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

fat bitch: am i the jezebel?
slug: you're the jezeBELLY.

fuck yeaaaaaaaaaaah. aaaaaahahahaha

it's okay, i'd be jealous too.

here, have an eargasm, on me:

nights full of Alizé

2008-09-23T01:14:00.000-07:00

i haven't been this loaded, since well.. last weekend.

always the last two people dancing..hahaha & the FIRST!!

hahahaha wtf. i never know what i end up drinking at the end of the night..malt bev?

happy bday stef, looks like ya had a blast baby!!

irrelevant shit

2008-09-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

i remember, like light years ago..i was reading music reviews on the new releases..and found these two lil wayne reviews to be really thorough. hahaha. well it's a good thing i save all kinds of irrelevant shit on my photobucket, it gives you and i something to look back at while we waste our time. but anyways damn, the lil boy from HOT BOYS blew up this year dinnnnt he?

don't judge me, i like love this song right now:

p.s. i found out who sent me the flowers..and with that being said, thank you.

?

2008-09-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

so yesterday as i was driving to work, my tire started shredding..i had to pull over and get it fixed. i went to Firestone, and turns out all my tires are balding. i ended up spending an arm, a leg and my soul that day..

later i went to skl..my teachers said there was something for me in the front desk..it was some flowers. sweet right? yeah, no. hahaha pretty creepy actually. i don't know who they're from, and there was a note that didn't reveal much either. boy or girl? idk..but i did smile.

nigga on the side

2008-09-16T17:01:00.000-07:00

i have this dvd..lent it out..and never got it back. i miss it. fuck the beginning part of this video..FFW to 3:24

the mothaFUCKINland

2008-09-12T05:09:00.000-07:00

im speechless.
(haha look at the comment after part 1. that guy is so mad.)

part 1:

part 2:

ummm you welcome? despite what you just saw, i can't wait to go back!! this year maybeeeeeeeeee.

p.s. hahaha that one fool's comment "don't eat dog, eat pussy"
WORD.

really?

2008-09-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

so i heard luda's gunna retire the music biz to act. hahaha.. really?? i dunno maaaaaan.. ima miss all his pussy poppin songs. he should just stick with what he knows best. and anyways black people never really retire..look at jayz and too $hort. ahh whatever. swan song..

p.s. black women are fine, especially lenny's women.

mute

2008-09-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

i lost my voice. and my phone broke. fuck.

and i was supposed to go to kandy kruise this comin weekend, cuz a friend got a hookup for free..but my work and skl schedule wont allow. this sucks. oh whatever..it's still 4 days from now, a lot of things can change in 4 days, but i doubt it... kandykruise.com

anyways i didn't feel good, so called in sick. and watched cable all day. BEERFEST was on, love that movie. this is one of my favorite scenes.

did u guys see WEEDS tonight?!? OMG

dorkita

2008-09-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

happy barfday..

[more pics]

cassandraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-09-03T01:23:00.000-07:00

"waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayne"--cassandra

she left for texas. this was her goin away dinner. these are my girls from cosmo. im in love with all of them.

oh btw cassandra is the one with the short blonde hair. we'll miss u mami!!

[more pics @ BJs]

THE CLASSICS

2008-08-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

ima let u in on my secret stash of some of my paborito nasty jams, enjoy.

Now I got 32 flavors of that bootylious bubblegum
Raspberry, grape, cherry,
Come and get this honey bun
Yummy-yum baby, not your ordinary lady
Known to drive the niggas crazy
Willy Wonka wanna pay me
On the daily
Off the hizzle
rock my hips
Shake my skittle
Soda popping, watch it sizzle
Man this shit right here the shizzle
Smoking on the hottest drizzle
Wanna taste it just a little
Rock my hips and make it wiggle
Wave and sipping in this bizzle

(damn i love that verse..hahaha)

this video does not do this song justice. this song is bomb, when u down to get down.

yeah that song's good, but here's something better. me and my girls always save this one for the end of the night. and im pretty sure we all know the lyrics BY HEART. hahahaha. no im not kidding. hands down, my all time fav...(ready freddy??)

oh and sorry about the videos, these nasty fools had to ruin it for you. just close your eyes and groove to these jams..hahaha.

gat damn

2008-08-27T01:40:00.000-07:00

lemme hit that.. evavavavavooom mendes

A few months ago that U.S. TV networks refused to air Calvin Klein and Coty's commercial for their new fragrance Secret Obsession; Calvin Klein recut the spot — starring a naked Eva Mendes — so that it could air on TV after 9 p.m. for the holiday season. Nevertheless, the company is determined not to let the original version go to waste. So, in a brilliant marketing move, they've More..put the unedited version, complete with the actress rolling around naked in the sheets and flashing her nipple, online.

in other news, my ex lover is going on this 3 week vacation to asia, where he took me to last year. wait that ain't all, the plot thickens..this year he's takin his new chick!! oooowwwwch. yeah it hurts. not much. but it still stings.

moving on, i found out my graduation date from beauty school..it's at the end of september!! yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaa. i can't wait to quit my shit job, and finally be done with skl. why?!? i get paid shit and i basically work two jobs.

and finally,this is what i'm looking forward to this year, im saving up for this puppy..
no for real, it's a puppy!!

ever since i was old enough to wanna have dogs, i've always wanted a french bulldog. i think this might be the year i get one. fuck i deserve it.

shoutout bday: cinz, love you dollface.

[pics @ boiling crab]

rollergirl

2008-08-19T02:16:00.000-07:00

so the girls and i went rollerskating..and decided to look the part. little did we know, it was Motown night at the Moonlight Rollerway. hahahaha our asses got schooled by some old ass black peoples. it was fun anyways..here's some proof. and some mood music..you know how i do.

[more pics]

sneaky sneaky

2008-08-12T17:10:00.000-07:00

the griffin wasn't dolla beer night..but my big purse got that covered. this should've been a tame weeknight, but it wasn't. beers were thrown, pants were lost and del taco learned we shouldn't be fucked with. haaaaa..aaah fuck okay enough, here are some pictures:
[more pics]

tokyo 2007

2008-08-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

i went to tokyo last year(and some other places..that i'll blog about later this month), but never had the chance to organize and condense all my pictures. now im finally getting started on it..this was a new year's resolution of mine, and im finally getting my shit straight. so here. i wrote a little review on my stay in japan (while still fresh in my head) and emailed it to myself for this very reason. clever aren't i? im sure i spelled a bunch of names wrong..so what. here enjoy.

btw all these pictures are pretty old.. all these people(couples) are just friends now and not romantically linked whatsoever. hahahaha. but mos def friends.

[more pics]

last night

2008-08-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

was ridiculously fun.

that's it baby, right there..

2008-08-07T02:25:00.000-07:00

these two movies, hit the SPOT..different ones of course.

pineapple express(2008)

dot the i(2003)

great movies..
now let's see if Woody Allen delivers next week..

updates

2008-08-05T23:01:00.000-07:00

i cut my hair..significantly shorter. dont worry still hot. hahaha. but i had to!! my ends were fried as fuck.

so mr. fine wants a date. i dont want A DATE. i just want mr. fine, hahaha. im kidding. almost.
"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends." -PENNY'mothafuckin'LANE

swingtown

2008-08-04T03:01:00.000-07:00

wow. my new found love.
SWINGTOWN (click me baby)
(fun show..all the goodies in this one, TeeeeRUST!!)

here's a preview

tom and trina decker izzzz dooooooope. and that high school teacher on the show is hotshit. F man, someone watch it already so i can i have someone to talk to about it. hahaha. i think im the only one watching this show.

my baby hahaha

2008-07-30T02:18:00.000-07:00

i got a car wash. yeeeeaaahhh.i even took a picture of my baby right after. it looks amazing. ok not amazing, but pretty good. it was worth it.. the car wash guy was like "so how many years has it been.." and cuz i know you're all dying to know..my scent of choice was leather..yeah well, cuz im classy like that.

you ready..
"the neeeeeeeeeeeeeew Allante" *bounce bounce bounce*

if u didn't get that quote. you're dumb. and here. now u know.

kelly bundy = my hero skank

u shittin me

2008-07-30T01:54:00.000-07:00

so i befriended my walk in client the other day at skl..
turns out she's kinda ummm let's say well off.. anyways for some reason she took me on a shopping spree..for school supplies. i go to beauty skl..so those kinda supplies.

i met her up at cinema secrets(hair..makeup..costume..beauty supply store..type place)..cuz she has an account there or some shit. anyways..long story short, she basically said okay.."let's shop" im like "oook..what can i get?" she said "whatever you want hun" and handed me a basket..the rest is history.
and together our bill came up to $2500.. $700 of that was probably my damage.

here's some of the shit i came up on..yes be jealous.

[more pics]

crazy good karma. i was in desperate need of supplies, but had no means to back it up. so much fucked up shit has been happening to me the for about a year now. finally a break. amen.

vicky cristina barcelona

2008-07-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

only unfulfilled love could be romantic.

need i say more..we all know he's a genius. can't wait to see this one.